Recurring Challenge

 

I don’t remember the details but I do recall that way back, in middle school perhaps, I made the decision to terminate a friendship when it became clear that the other party was racist. I remember even less about what it was that revealed to me that there were elements of racism, and later sexism within myself, hidden in my fundamental assumptions about the world, but it was probably around the same time. Then began the extended process of trying to recognize those assumptions and rid myself of them. It was a quest I’d thought long complete, yet all these years later I discover that prejudice still lurks within.

I was delivering to a construction site. I pulled up along the curb with my flashers on to seek directions. A gang of “Mexicans” conferred in Spanish, then their spokesman said to go around the block and enter from the far corner of the site. As I was returning to the truck a white guy came striding up asking me what I had. He then told me to enter from the first drive, rather than the last.

I had to “buttonhole” the turn, once traffic permitted, so it wan’t until I was committed that I noticed the sign that said, “No construction traffic.” Like I say, I was committed to the turn with a line of impatient cars behind me, and it was where I was told to go.

”Who told you that?”

I didn’t know, “Some White guy wearing a hard hat.”

I ended up having to back out onto the street and enter from the last drive where the Mexicans had originally directed me. I could easily say that whereas the Mexicans had to confer amongst themselves the White guy seemed sure of himself and full of authority, but to be honest, and without honesty the project is doomed beforehand, it was the country of origin that swayed me (actually I'm being harsh on myself here).

So there’s that, but that’s not what I wanted to talk about. Fifteen years ago I’d never have thought that one day I would count Conservatives amongst my friends. It’s not that politics is never a topic of discussion, it’s that we agree to disagree, and for my part my views have evolved. I still firmly believe that our strength is within the people, not the elite, and that austerity will kill. At the same time I can’t get with the Libertarians because neither the people nor the elite, especially the elite, will police themselves; while as much as they may be necessary I fundamentally distrust the Police. That leaves me with the pipe dream that someday we will understand dark energy and not need the police, and to vote Democratic, hoping for a viable Green.

Well that’s a mouthful, but still not what I wanted to talk about. I have some friends, a couple, who I love and for whom I would easily give up my comfort and possibly even risk my life. They are conservative. It’s even known that they’re racist; there was something about Obama’s middle name that I answered, “That’s not an opinion, that's a prejudice,” and then changed the subject. I have more than enough evidence to know that they are good people, and my friends, but something happened that troubled me enough to write this.

It was nothing that they did. It’s what they didn’t do. A guy came into the bar and settled back in our corner. I personally didn’t like him from the start, just something about him, but it became clear that he was a near neighbor of my Friends’ over in Ellettesville, and they shared common interests in cars, guns and smoked meat. Hoosiers, in a word.

So this new guy, one who I predict hasn’t a chance in hell of being accepted as a regular is telling a story about the enormous chickens he had smoking out back when of all things three “nigger” women showed up, searching for a hand out no doubt. I wasn’t in the conversation but I heard it and noticed that neither of my friends batted an eyelash.

I won’t terminate this relationship, like that earlier, nascent one. My views have evolved. But I must say something, which I certainly will, believing that it will only strengthen our bond. Does anybody have any ideas on what Dark Energy is? It sounds extra dimensional to me.